Love, Limit, then Let them be.

I need an empty nest makeover.  The kids are gone and the house is empty.  I should have lots of time on my hands, but for some reason, my project list (composed primarily of half finished projects) grows longer.  Hardwood stairs. Check.  Well, half check.  The 3 steps to the basement are not done.  Walk-in closet.  Half check.  New expanded bedroom.  Quarter check.  The list goes on and on.

Perhaps it is that I haven’t completely embraced this new phase of my life.  Instead of using my free weekends to get my honey-do list knocked off, I am finding myself planning trips to universities, watching volleyball games, prepping for medical school interviews.  Perhaps that is what I should be doing, because that is what I love…  spending time for and with my kids.

I miss my girls. I find myself “creepin’ their facebook profile” which, if you don’t know, is a very uncool thing for mothers to do.  Friends who post witty sayings on their wall = cool.  Mothers who “like” those posts = totally uncool!    Maybe I just don’t want to have an empty nest plan now.  I have had plans for years as a parent and am not quite ready to let that go.   I must admit, I do like the empty refrigerator and smaller grocery bills.  I like less laundry and shopping.  I like no interruptions when I am reading.  I don’t like being a distant mother.  I don’t like not knowing where they are when I want to chat, or how they are doing in their classes.  Are they studying enough?  Is the prof fair?  For now, they are at school, and all seems to be well.  I am here, totally confused about this life of distance.  I try not to text or email too much… Sometimes I give in to that need.

50 Years of making Beautiful Music Together.

As my parents celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, it is important to me that they know what it means for me to be their daughter.  Throughout my life, I have never doubted their love. I have never doubted their support.  And perhaps most importantly, I have never once doubted that Kim, Kelly, Kathy and I were the luckiest girls in the world for having them as our parents.

Growing up, I saw the strength of their love for each other.  Never once have I questioned their love for each other and for our family.  Some of the greatest memories growing up are of simpler times; of Mom helping us with homework at the table and Dad listening to music reclined in his chair, headphones on, eyes closed; camping in our little trailer with the relentless flies and even more relentless rain; cramming into the family car for wonderful vacations, even if we did seem to have car trouble every time.  That was part of the adventure.  It never fails to make me smile nor give me comfort when I think of these happy times.

Looking back, I am grateful for all of their contributions to shaping my life. Some of my earliest memories are Dad teaching me how to play the cornet and Mom teaching me to cook in the kitchen, sometimes rushed between piano lessons. They were always an important part of my life. Their daily participation and example of what it means to be a parent is something I cherish and enjoy sharing with my own children.

I know my teenage years were sometimes difficult for them.  But I always knew that they were there for me.  I knew that no matter how bad it got, I could count on them to be there.  Like all children, especially teenagers, I pushed them away at times, but they were always still right there, exactly where I needed them.  With their love, I was able to become the woman I am today.

As I grow older, I realize with each passing day how special it is to have great parents like I was lucky enough to have.  They are the example I hope I now am with my children, and I am so thankful for everything they have done.  I love them both with all of my heart and I am proud to be their daughter.

Karyn

June – Nature’s Sweet Apology for Winter

I was going to call this month’s blog “Arsenic and Toenails” because our big news lately is Kathryn’s summer job.  Kathryn is working at Acadia this summer, as a researcher for a multi-year study on the effects of arsenic on cancer rates in Nova Scotia.  She will be using very cool CSI-type lab equipment to test drinking water and toenails for traces of arsenic.  I believe she is also testing urine as well.  I’ve never seen someone so excited about pee!

June has finally arrived, and so has the sunshine.  Jillian finished volleyball for the season, and is looking forward to spending her summer at Laval University studying French.  As a result, this will be the first summer in 5 years where our weekends are not consumed by volleyball tournaments around the Maritimes.  We plan to take full advantage of the nice weather on the lake and camping.

We are thoroughly enjoying our new 5th wheel, and have been on a few camping trips already. Our first trip was to Ottawa in May for volleyball, then a long weekend in Bangor (shopping!), and last weekend we camped near Cape Breton.

While in Ottawa the first weekend of May, we got to experience Jillian’s volleyball team, the Metro Hurricanes, complete at the National level.  I am pleased to brag that her team came in an impressive 4th place, Tier 1, division 2.  I believe this is the best showing for a Nova Scotia team in recent years.  We are very proud of the girls.

We hope to get away many more weekends this summer.  We will be driving Jillian to Quebec at the end of the month, and will enjoy an RV vacation then as well.  The possibility of a trip to Florida gets more remote with each passing week, so depending on the vacation we have left this Fall, we may plan a trip south later in the year for a change.

Here Comes the Sun…

…and all is right with the world!  The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another.  The difference between them this year was more than one full month.  All of the signs for our welcomed season are now in place: Murray put the boat in the water yesterday, then worked on the new 5th wheel for summer camping.  I spent the day doing yard work, raking leaves, cleaning the property, and am more than a bit sore today.  Perhaps the winter months of a sedentary lifestyle were too much for my aging body.  If it weren’t for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, I wouldn’t have gotten any exercise at all these past few months.  Generally, my idea of exercise has been a good brisk sit, however I am determined to get moving, and reclaim some level of fitness that will allow me to enjoy this brief season to its fullest.

Kathryn came home from university this week, and was quite satisfied with her final exams.  If you know Kathryn, you know she must have done very well, as she tends to be her own harshest critic.  This year, as with last, Kathryn returned a bit more “grown”.   My little girl is all but a memory, and instead a confident young woman stands before me.  Kathryn has replaced unrealistic expectations for herself with a humble but reasonable confidence in her own ability.

Jillian received two great pieces of news this week.  First, Jillian will be awarded the Lieutenant Governor’s Medal for Education at a ceremony in the near future.  To be nominated, you must have top grades in your school and demonstrate qualities of leadership and service in your school and community. It is open to all Grade 11 High School students and 1st year vocational school program in Nova Scotia.  We are very proud that Jillian was chosen among her peers for this prestigious honor.  Kathryn was also a recipient in her Grade 11 year, and has modeled great “big sister” values.  Secondly, Jillian has been awarded a full scholarship to study French at Laval University this summer.  Again, coincidentally, or perhaps not, Kathryn also received this award when she was 17.  We will me making a vacation out of the trips to Quebec, wringing the most enjoyment out of our new 5th wheel as possible.

When in Rome…

We are back from our whirlwind vacation in Europe – Switzerland and Italy.  In a mere 9 days, we visited London, Zurich, Lucerne, Mt. Pilatus, Seelsburg, Florence, Verona, Venice, Bellagio, Lake Como, San Gimagnano, Assisi, and glorious Rome.  Up at 6 or 7 every morning, and walking all day until sometimes after midnight before falling into bed.

It is said that in Italy, for many years they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance.  In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.

The view in Switzerland is spectacular, however not unlike Alberta, with the exception that the homes and hotels are quaint, whereas the Canadian structures are very modern.  Many of the homes are akin to cuckoo clocks, and the people inside, resemble the colorful wooden figures that come out on demand every hour.  Switzerland is a large, lumpy, solid rock, with a metre of snow on it.  It is steep.  By that I mean everything is a hill, or a mountain.  Just outside Lucerne is Mount Pilatus.  Ever wanted to shout from a 7,000-foot mountaintop?  Then Mt. Pilatus is for you.  Breathtaking views notwithstanding, I needed to catch my breath after riding on an incredible steep gondola, a thrilling ride that started at the mountain’s base to the mountain’s summit—a sweeping panoramic delight.  Mount Pilatus is definitely something to shout about.  The Alps are spectacular, and beyond the Alps, lies Italy.

Venice was not dirty as I had heard, instead it is a beautiful city, half fairy tale and half tourist trap.  I stood in Venice, on the Bridge of Sighs; A palace and a prison both in plain view.  It is a city of contrasts and contradictions.  And, by the way, they really do have streets of water, and gondolas.  The real surprise though, is that the gondoliers do not sing!

Rome was, and will continue to be, my favorite European city; full of works of the masters, who were in their 20s when creating many of their sculptures, paintings, and churches.  Italians were eating with a fork and knife when North Americans were still eating each other!

You truly cannot feel history until you visit Rome. I walked on streets that were in place when Jesus was alive.  I stood in the Coliseum where gladiators fought for their lives 2000 years ago.  I saw where Ceasar was murdered, and where is body laid in mourning.  Michelangelo’s frescoes in the Sistine Chapel are awe inspiring.  This is a spiritual place, and many, including me, were deeply moved.

Rome also has its gypsies and street vendors, who were persistent in their effort to sell you their wares.  Bargaining is a way of life, and we had a lot of fun trying to get the best deal possible on purses, scarves, etc.

Every day was filled with gelatos, pastas, pizzas.  When in Rome…